Walking in a Winter Wonderland

So in November when I got married, I also got a step dog. She has to be walked about 4 times a day. Since I haven't been at work for two weeks, I felt guilty and thought I would be nice and assume the responsibility for a few of the walks - the ones during daylight :) But over the past few days I have noticed something I find very disturbing.

There is a nice elderly woman who walks her dog several times a day also. My issue is that when I walk Clair - Clair is doing the walking too. When this lady walks her dog, she is carrying him! Seriously? Why would you go out several times a day to carry your dog around????

It's like my own neighborhood version of the Ridiculist.

New Year Resolutions

It's that time of year again! Have you made a list of a bunch of stuff you would like to do but most likely will not? Here is mine...I think all of these things are quite perfectly unrealistic.

1. Stop complaining about my job
2. Lose 30 pounds
3. Stay focused and organized
4. Find a cure for my dry skin

Here's wishing you the best of luck with your resolutions! I hope you are more successful than me :)

Taking on the Big Bank

Not in the sense that I'm sure you are thinking. Here is the thing, I know I have a very short fuse for poor customer service. I feel that everyone should treat their clients as you do in a four star hotel. Therefore, I am about ready to quit using banks and keep my money under a mattress.

So I pull up to the ATM to make a deposit and there are no envelopes. Kind of annoying that I have to back out of the ATM, but no one else is around so no problem. I walk inside and am greeted as if I'm at Moe's. I walk up to the teller and give her my deposit slip and check and kindly (really I promise) say "just so you know, the ATM is out of envelopes."

Do you know what she says to me???? "We don't service the ATM, there is another company that deals with that."

Vacation

I love vacation - I currently do not have to show up at my office again until 2012!! I know what you are thinking - endless amounts of time to play on the internet. Sorry friend, I have a to-do list a mile long. You see, I have put off every chore for the past month because I was going to have so much time off. So, today I could write a FB status like the ones that drive me crazy. It would read

busy day - finish Christmas shopping, wrap presents, finish laundry, have lunch with Marge, reorganize the shed and guest bedroom, clean the kitchen and take the recycling out.

Yeah right, I'll get ALL of that done today. If today is a relative term like this month.

There's a Reindeer on that Car!

Or You're Not Fooling Me, I know that's a car and not a reindeer!

See, Lizard is outraged at all the people who are decorating their cars. She doesn't think you should throw a big red bow on your 1987 Honda - makes people sad to think that you believe that's a new car. She also is concerned that you may crack and leave your children in there as a present to whomever is calling social services to report you as a bad parent.

The other night I saw a big car that had a sleigh and some reindeer that lit up on top of it. Here's the thing - I love the phrase go big or go home....but in this case, I feel compelled to tell you that if you can't fit 8 reindeer on top of your car, maybe you should just stick to the reindeer antlers that fit in your window. I mean, how much power is that whole on the go display eating up in your car battery? And how did you find time to do all that?

As I'm typing this, I just realized that from my childhood to present day - the title of this post is very different. Growing up if someone said "there's a reindeer on that car" I would assume it was a dead deer. As an adult living in a decent size city, it means someone has strapped lawn ornaments to the roof of their car.

Merry Christmas y'all

You Better Watch Out, You Better Not Cry

Or pout, or throw a temper tantrum or punch someone. Not because it's almost Christmas and you are afraid of Santa, but because if you are reading this, there is a high likelihood that you are a grown adult and that is no way to act.

Weight Gain Train

I'm sorry - it doesn't seem like December to me. I'm having a hard time wrapping my pea size brain around the fact that Thanksgiving has come and gone and Christmas is quickly approaching. As always, I have triple booked myself this month and we're still trying to organize the house. When am I going to find time to bake?? I mean, I love to bake this time of year....and of all years, I finally have a KitchenAid mixer to assist me!! I have all kinds of ideas on Pinterest just waiting for me...and I'm failing all of those delicious calories. How am I going to gain 8 pounds if I'm not constantly eating sweets?

Also, I am saddened by the fact that I am no longer able to be the reigning cookie champion of my former place of employment. Apparently if you don't work there, you can't win or even enter the contest!