Urban Legends

I probably don't strike you as one who believes urban legends. I call bluff on most of them. However, the other day, I found myself deciding just not to chance it. On my drive to work a 5:40 am, I saw a car pulling out of the gas station without their headlights on. I look around to see if any other cars are around - when I don't see any, I choose to let the driver possibly be in a car wreck instead of flashing my lights to signal to them. After all, I don't want to die in a gang initiation and I feel certain that they happen right before rush hour. A few blocks later, I also came to the realization that since my car has automatic headlights, I'm not even sure how to flash them. Guess I'm safe from the gangs for at least one more day.

New Year's Revolution

I understand that it should be resolution, but I can't count the number of people I've heard talk about their New Year's Revolution recently. I mean, I can't event keep a resolution, much less start a revolution - more power to all of these people...I wonder what the difference in timing is between breaking your resolution and stopping the revolution?

To Dream the Impossible Dream

So I was hanging out with Snarky today and once again complaining that I don't understand who would purposefully purchase control top tights. Another friend had to listen to this rant while in Target and added that all control top tights do is give you two rolls instead of one. Good point friend. So Snarky and I were lamenting the muffin top that can be caused from ill fitting tights. Snarky pointed out that she wished the fat could be pushed down - because most of the time you are wearing boots, so who cares if you had a little kankle problem in your boot.

Then it happened. Snarky had an epiphany. She is going to invent tights that go over your head. I know what your thinking - they will have to snap in an inconvenient area right? Nope, Snarky is going to work through that problem. I was going to have her write again, but I think she's going to busy with the project for quite some time. I'll let you know when she finds the solution.

Back to the Grind

So today I went back to work. Of course it was rough, I've not been on a schedule in two weeks. Want to know how much I whine and groan? Fabio sent me a text to ask how my first day back was going and I responded that I was really trying to have a positive attitude. When I got home he asked again, and then my mom called....and they were both proud of me for keeping a positive attitude until 2:00 p.m.

My mom has a new theory that maybe I need an elf on the shelf to keep me from saying or doing anything I shouldn't. I think she thinks she can get it on clearance and it certainly wouldn't hurt me to try it.

Year in Review

I tomorrow is officially the end of the year, but today is the end of my year. Yes, I'm special. Today is my birthday and having a birthday at the end of the calendar year really allows for a lot of reflecting. I know I probably overdo lists - but here's a quick recap of this year.

1. Fabio and I were engaged
2. Snarky and I met a crazy bridal dress consultant who kept hugging me
3. I refrained from hitting the servers
4. I met the crazy man that works in special events for the WV State Capital
5. Snarky, Fabio and I saw Jesco White "perform"
6. A bunch of us tried a diet and learned that we don't like drinking water and we hate yogurt (except the frozen varieties)
7. We learned that we aren't great at following diets that require us to eat yogurt and drink water
8. Fabio and I got married and then I stole someone's luggage
9. I was almost killed by ducks
10. Snarky wrote her first guest blog (I say first because I feel like her anger needs and outlet and she should start her own)
11. I am living with a boy and we need a bigger house
12. My brother and I both love torturing our bosses in very obscure ways.
13. I need to start working on my goals before I turn 40 because that is getting closer! (although I was promised cake lollies for my 40th)

Happy New Year to you!!

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

So in November when I got married, I also got a step dog. She has to be walked about 4 times a day. Since I haven't been at work for two weeks, I felt guilty and thought I would be nice and assume the responsibility for a few of the walks - the ones during daylight :) But over the past few days I have noticed something I find very disturbing.

There is a nice elderly woman who walks her dog several times a day also. My issue is that when I walk Clair - Clair is doing the walking too. When this lady walks her dog, she is carrying him! Seriously? Why would you go out several times a day to carry your dog around????

It's like my own neighborhood version of the Ridiculist.

New Year Resolutions

It's that time of year again! Have you made a list of a bunch of stuff you would like to do but most likely will not? Here is mine...I think all of these things are quite perfectly unrealistic.

1. Stop complaining about my job
2. Lose 30 pounds
3. Stay focused and organized
4. Find a cure for my dry skin

Here's wishing you the best of luck with your resolutions! I hope you are more successful than me :)