A Few Requests for Meeting Attendees

After the past few groups - I have a few requests of people who attend conferences -
1. Do not chew off your fingernails and leave them on the floor. This is quite possibly the most disgusting thing ever.
2. If the water pitcher is empty, please bring it to my attention by telling me - waving it at me and pointing at it just makes me think you are an idiot.
3. Do not tape things to the wall with the cheapest scotch tape you can find and then act surprised when part of the wall comes down with the tape.
4. If you make a big deal about being allergic to certain types of food - then on your own choose to eat that food and nothing bad happens to you - the servers will no longer believe you have an allergy.
5. The plants in the hallway are for decoration - they do not like coffee, so please don't dump yours in there.
6. It would be awesome if you could throw your trash in the can instead of right next to it.
7. I'm very sorry that you don't like the lunch option, or the vegetarian alternative, you should speak with the person who planned your meeting about their selections.
8. Copies are not free anywhere else in the world, so please stop acting like the 10 cents charge is the most outrageous thing you have ever heard. (If it is the most outrageous thing you have ever heard, you should get out more)