I love chocolate. And cookies, ice cream, bread, potato chips and pepperoni rolls. I also wonder why my hips are in competition with my shoulders to see who can be wider. For the majority of my life, my shoulders have won. One night during rehearsal for a musical, the costumer was taking my measurements and asked if I had trouble finding clothes to fit because my shoulders were "broad and sturdy". These are not words that a girl wants to hear.
Anyway, in recent years, I have found that I can no longer simply stop eating all of the above mentioned foods and drop 5 pounds. This sucks for lack of a better term. So, now that I am nearing the atrocious weight of when I graduated from college, I'm trying to reign it back in. It makes me sad, because I will miss you fried, sweet and salty foods. But I'm sure one day I will see you again. After all, emotional eating is one of my favorite hobbies.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
I'm Just Not That Into You
Remember the book that came out several years ago "He's Just Not That Into You"? I loved it. And now I would like my client to start taking hints and realize I'm just not that into her. I'm only sending about 5,000 nonverbal clues as I pass her in the hallway that she does not need to stop and speak. A simple hello is more than enough. But no, we speak for at least 10 minutes and as I walk away, I realize nothing productive just happened, I'm just 10 minutes older and not wiser.
She is one of the most passive aggressive people I have ever met...and that is saying a lot because my first boss was the Queen of Passive Agressivity. Shut up, it's a word. This is probably why we don't get along. I will always have a lot more respect for you if you just tell it how it is. I may not like your message, but I will get over faster having the facts straight up.
So here we are, existing in a passive aggressive saga where I try to stay as far away from her as possible without making it too obvious I'm avoiding her and she is stopping me for 10 minute conversations several times a day. I need a job where I can hide from people.
She is one of the most passive aggressive people I have ever met...and that is saying a lot because my first boss was the Queen of Passive Agressivity. Shut up, it's a word. This is probably why we don't get along. I will always have a lot more respect for you if you just tell it how it is. I may not like your message, but I will get over faster having the facts straight up.
So here we are, existing in a passive aggressive saga where I try to stay as far away from her as possible without making it too obvious I'm avoiding her and she is stopping me for 10 minute conversations several times a day. I need a job where I can hide from people.
Monday, July 19, 2010
No Alarm = Bad Rest of Day
So my alarm didn't go off this morning. Possibly because I forgot to set it, but nevertheless, I rolled over and looked at the clock at 5:41 this morning. I'm supposed to be at work at 6:00.
After the world's fastest shower and make up, I arrived at 6:09...really not bad. On the drive to work, I kept telling myself that I was not going to allow this to ruin my entire day. Then I kept trying to think of the name of that book about choosing your mood for the day. It was something about fish maybe? Lots of references to Pike's Pier?? Anyway, at one point in my life, I read a book about how you control your destiny by choosing your attitude each day. Obviously it was phenomenal considering my current take away.
So I arrive at work, choosing my good attitude and immediately jump in to the hundred things that need to be finished before the clients arrive. As I'm celebrating the fact that I am clean, have brushed my teeth and have make up on, I realize something horrible. In my hurried rush, I'm wearing a bra whose underwire is trying to be an escape artist. By the end of the day, I will be the first person I know with an under arm piercing.
After the world's fastest shower and make up, I arrived at 6:09...really not bad. On the drive to work, I kept telling myself that I was not going to allow this to ruin my entire day. Then I kept trying to think of the name of that book about choosing your mood for the day. It was something about fish maybe? Lots of references to Pike's Pier?? Anyway, at one point in my life, I read a book about how you control your destiny by choosing your attitude each day. Obviously it was phenomenal considering my current take away.
So I arrive at work, choosing my good attitude and immediately jump in to the hundred things that need to be finished before the clients arrive. As I'm celebrating the fact that I am clean, have brushed my teeth and have make up on, I realize something horrible. In my hurried rush, I'm wearing a bra whose underwire is trying to be an escape artist. By the end of the day, I will be the first person I know with an under arm piercing.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Harry
On Wednesday July 7, 2010, Harry the Chia Pet was laid to rest after an extended battle with dehydration. Although he only had a short life, it was one filled with stress and sadness. His beloved owner was sure to keep his hair trimmed neatly, but once it started turning blonde, there seemed to be no turning back.
While all the other plants in the office are saddened by this loss, they selfishly believe that this turn of events will lead to more water for them and that the death of Harry could be a wake up call for plants everywhere.
While all the other plants in the office are saddened by this loss, they selfishly believe that this turn of events will lead to more water for them and that the death of Harry could be a wake up call for plants everywhere.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Work Ethic
I understand that everyone has a different sense of what a good work ethic is, but I feel strongly that if you think working for an hour (still be AT work for 8) is too strenuous, then you shouldn't be in this industry. Meetings change times, their needs change, speakers on a whim will decide they need 3 more tables and 6 more flipcharts for an activity they think will be "fun". The nature of our business is a moving target. Strangely, that's one of the things I like about it. Unless of course, I'm the one moving the tables!
As we begin to emerge from this catastrophic recession, I feel that people are shocked that things are needed again. Shouldn't we be excited that there is more work to be done? Obviously if you are one of the unfortunate souls covering several peoples' positions you do not feel this way. But if you have been a slacker sitting in your office with nothing to do because there was no business, aren't you excited to have something to pass the day faster?
Apparently, not everyone shares my enthusiasm for business. I'm up to my eyeballs in BEOs, Room Diagrams, conference calls and invoicing. I'm exhausted, but I'm happy. To me, if there is no work to be done, there is no point for me to be at work. I would rather have a running to do list - prevents boredom and the ever growing addiction to facebook.
And now I have more options to tweet about. Yes, I still don't love that part...
As we begin to emerge from this catastrophic recession, I feel that people are shocked that things are needed again. Shouldn't we be excited that there is more work to be done? Obviously if you are one of the unfortunate souls covering several peoples' positions you do not feel this way. But if you have been a slacker sitting in your office with nothing to do because there was no business, aren't you excited to have something to pass the day faster?
Apparently, not everyone shares my enthusiasm for business. I'm up to my eyeballs in BEOs, Room Diagrams, conference calls and invoicing. I'm exhausted, but I'm happy. To me, if there is no work to be done, there is no point for me to be at work. I would rather have a running to do list - prevents boredom and the ever growing addiction to facebook.
And now I have more options to tweet about. Yes, I still don't love that part...
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Putting the fun back in dysfunctional
Growing up, my mom would frequently mention that we put the fun in dysfunctional...it wasn't until recently that I realized how true she was.
My family is great about getting issues out in the open...as long as it is behind your back. What we do is get together with some members of the family and then talk about the others, then you switch groups. Since we're a little southern, you hear a lot of "bless his heart" and "I'm only bringing it up out of love and concern". One day I want to out all of them for this crazy tradition. I mean, we are the people of circle of death (if you don't already know about circle of death, you have to wait until Christmas, which is when it occurs), and dinners for 25 people, why can't we just say what is on our mind like other families?
This past weekend I went home to visit. Every holiday, my brother and I ask my mom what she wants as a gift, she always says she wants pictures of us. We oblige her this request every few years. The main reason we don't do this all of the time is because it's creepy. Many photographers we have used try to make us look like we are dating. I realize we are from WV, but inbreeding is not nearly as popular as you may think. So the last thing my brother and I want to do is get dressed up and smile for a camera. But it's been several years and we thought we should bite the bullet. Friday afternoon we went to Kelli's house (remember her? she's the whole reason I ramble endlessly on this page) for our photo shoot. As we are standing there, my brother makes some sarcastic comment to which Kelli pops out from behind her camera and says "you two have the same sense of humor!". I had never thought about just how sarcastic we are and that our parents don't seem so much so. Then it hit me...
We got it from mom. After all, she's the one that talked for years about how she and her best friend were going to open a funeral home. Not only was she going to put the fun back in dysfunctional at home, she and Kaye were going to put the Fun in Funeral. They had a long list of things that they would not allow in the funeral home...the only one I remember now is a light up phone with a banner that said "He got the call." I totally agree with them on this one.
So next time you are reading this and wondering why in the world I can ramble on endlessly, it's because I grew up putting the fun back in dysfunctional.
My family is great about getting issues out in the open...as long as it is behind your back. What we do is get together with some members of the family and then talk about the others, then you switch groups. Since we're a little southern, you hear a lot of "bless his heart" and "I'm only bringing it up out of love and concern". One day I want to out all of them for this crazy tradition. I mean, we are the people of circle of death (if you don't already know about circle of death, you have to wait until Christmas, which is when it occurs), and dinners for 25 people, why can't we just say what is on our mind like other families?
This past weekend I went home to visit. Every holiday, my brother and I ask my mom what she wants as a gift, she always says she wants pictures of us. We oblige her this request every few years. The main reason we don't do this all of the time is because it's creepy. Many photographers we have used try to make us look like we are dating. I realize we are from WV, but inbreeding is not nearly as popular as you may think. So the last thing my brother and I want to do is get dressed up and smile for a camera. But it's been several years and we thought we should bite the bullet. Friday afternoon we went to Kelli's house (remember her? she's the whole reason I ramble endlessly on this page) for our photo shoot. As we are standing there, my brother makes some sarcastic comment to which Kelli pops out from behind her camera and says "you two have the same sense of humor!". I had never thought about just how sarcastic we are and that our parents don't seem so much so. Then it hit me...
We got it from mom. After all, she's the one that talked for years about how she and her best friend were going to open a funeral home. Not only was she going to put the fun back in dysfunctional at home, she and Kaye were going to put the Fun in Funeral. They had a long list of things that they would not allow in the funeral home...the only one I remember now is a light up phone with a banner that said "He got the call." I totally agree with them on this one.
So next time you are reading this and wondering why in the world I can ramble on endlessly, it's because I grew up putting the fun back in dysfunctional.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Hairspray in the car
I have always been under the assumption that your car is for driving. This is the main purpose of having a car. While I am guilty of occasionally putting on lip gloss, I do not try to completely get ready in the car. This morning I had the unfortunate privilege of being behind a woman who must have rolled out of bed and into her car. In my 12 minute commute to work, I saw make up, hair brush, and a cloud of hairspray that would have set the whole car on fire if there had been a spark.
I will refrain from elaborating on how bad her hair looked from my car and just suggest that maybe you take that extra few minutes in the morning to complete the majority of your grooming in the house instead of for an audience of drivers who wonder when you will blow yourself up.
I will refrain from elaborating on how bad her hair looked from my car and just suggest that maybe you take that extra few minutes in the morning to complete the majority of your grooming in the house instead of for an audience of drivers who wonder when you will blow yourself up.
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