Working on my Candidacy for What Not to Wear

Today, I am dressed like a tree. But a tree that isn't growing properly because my trunk is bigger than the leafy part. I say this because I'm wearing a brown tea length skirt and a green cardigan. I've noticed that not many things are made tea length. And why is it called tea length? I know why this length isn't popular - because when you are my height - it just looks like you are short and wearing a tall person's knee length skirt. I work with a girl that is 5' 10"  - If I wore her pencil skirt (which will never happen because she weighs all of 15 pounds) it would be the same length as the skirt I'm wearing today. If only I were taller - it would also make me look skinnier!!! Although it probably wouldn't because I would just eat that much more.